Story#61. Sleeping Beauty

“Sleeping is nice, you can forget about everything for a little while…”


Do you know what is good about sleeping? Normal people can mention hundreds reason about health, beauty, whatsoever. For me, sleeping is a sacred rare moment happen in my life since…. since i was in high school, I guess? I often close my eyes to sleep but I didn’t really sleep. “Sleeping Beauty” for me is nothing but a nonsense. Oftenly, I keep my self busy and tired all day so I can sleep well at night. But it’s not always work out.

Many life stories in the world are worst than mine, I know. I just can’t stop thinking and figure out anything, small stuff somehow keep run in my empty mind…

Wondering how’s life will be if I never knew some people which their behave are away from my expectation? What if I marry with one of my asshole ex? I’m tired of adding names on the haters list, but what can I do since I can’t please everybody? What if I still work for Mr. ex boss? Will I have a better life? What if I die when I sleep? Will my spirit flying around the house and see my family and colleague come to see my death body? 

What if I get an unwanted pregnancies? What if I met the guy and get hesitate to decide whether I only admire him, or I just intense to flirt on him, or is he the one I really want in my life? What if I don’t need to behave? Can I say something like “Fuck this shit” and punch someone? Can I shoot people that ruin my day? What if I living in someone else’s life, will I be happy? What if I can talk better with my parent? What if I obey whatever my mother told me like eating veggie and don’t scratch my butt when I’m on period to avoid cellulite? What if illama and elepthant can fly? 

Still not yet to sleep. I try my best-non medical way to sleep: Crying, then my eyes become so tired and then yes, finally fall asleep. For a couple hours I am a sleeping beauty, I can forget about everything for a little while.

See you in my next episode!