Saturday. I was attended a body combat class this afternoon. I love it like always. The class is about punching, kicking, strike, and sometimes jumping if you’re kinda on “energy explosion” mode on. Wondering what makes me love the class… All of the moves are a challenging mix of martial arts and endurance, unleashing strength I never knew I had. It’s like 60minutes that I can leave whatever on my messy mind just to –mostly– punch.
Have you ever feel like your mind is empty and messy at the same time? Don’t know what you thinking of but also feels like you full of shit. Do I look stupid for saying such thing? Well, I am! At the combat class I punch and kick the air, yeah an empty air. The air is as empty as my mind, but my body is as busy as my mind, what a mess. The first time I’m join in this class, I imagine many things that bother me that day, and you and also some other faces that annoy me, and then imagine stuff that I don’t like but I can do nothing about it, and all those frustrated stuff magically energize me to punch, to kick, to jab, to strike, and even to jump. That was fun until as time goes by I can enjoy the moves with the music beat and energized by a happy feeling. Sometimes in the middle of the class, I feel like I can’t punch anymore. Had my heart race, out of breathe. Kadang sampai mau muntah rasanya. I don’t care, I just slow down for a while instead. But that’s the good thing, minutes when I don’t feel my self, minutes that I don’t think, minutes that i don’t remember how to feel any emotion. I just punch and kick as the rhythm play. I feel it like a kick drum, beating faster in my chest. I start to enjoy it. My moves is no longer about anger and frustration but it turn into a happy feeling. Have no idea why it turn that way. The emotion just blew up and gone. The more I think about nothing, I can kick higher, I can punch stronger, I jump… errr.. not good, never higher than everyone at the class, but at least I try to jump, LoL!
I read this once that neurologist claim that every time you resist acting on your anger, you’re actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving. Somehow it probably right. It’s a complicated world, plus you and stuff are sucks. Sometimes I get mad and I punch -the empty air, iya laah, i don’t punch people- I keep punching and when I feel like I can’t punch anymore, i just… PUNCH!
PS. I find my body in pain after the class, as always. But I don’t care. I love the pain instead. Just like I do love the complicated world. As complicated as your crazy love. It’s your saying, “Love is either crazy or it’s nothing at all” –Milan Kundera.
See you in my next episodes of life.