Story #70. The Teddy Bear Holding an “I Love You” heart (Apple Of My Eye, Love me till I die – 2)

A story from a friend, she’s a hidden mother of her own hidden child. She have a faith and a heart made of gold. 

It’s wednesday, my daughter’s birthday. I plan to buy her something but still thinking what can I buy for her, as she seems has everything a child need. The family where she stays fulfill all of her needs. I thank God for that. At the moment I face a situation, not yet receive my salary. Office usually pay me at the end of next week. So, I have not enough money, and I don’t know what to buy for her. 

The poor me. The lonely me. I gave a birth few years ago. Had consider everything and decide to let her adopted. I curse my boyfriend which also the biological father of my cute daughter. I push him away and hid the child. When I was pregnant, I gently rub my stomach and promise my baby ” I’ll always be there on your birthday, even you don’t call ‘mama’ to me“. So far I try to keep my promise, and after all this time, I thought my parents never care about me and her. I don’t mind it, I’ve never be their perfect daughter, I guess.

Well so here I am, standing at the station on my way back home. Open an online shop application thru my phone while I’m waiting for my train. I saw a cute pink bicycle with a basket in the front side. Ahh.. but she has it already. Lego set, girls toys  like cooking set, iron, groceries whatever, nah.. she has a lot. Maybe a backpack as she’s about to prepare a pre school ?! She might have it as well but I’ll choose her something different from the other and she’ll love it! Yeah! And I’ll buy it after I reveice my salary next week. It’s fine consider my chance to see her will be next week. 

I close the online shop application. My train is not yet to come, but it’s on schedulle. I check my whatsapp, a lot of message as always. I open up first text from my father. He send me a photo. Something wrap with a yellow funny cute wrapping paper and a ribbon. I wrinkle my eyebrows. It can’t be a birhday gift for my daughter. He seems never care that much. I read the text, he said that inside it is a teddy bear holding a red heart say I Love You and a frozen tumbler. I should give it to my daughter. My hidden child.

For a second I felt my heart stop beating.
I read the text over and over again.

I don’t know what happen to me but I suddenly can’t get enough oxygen. I breathe short and fast, my heart start beating again. It’s beat like heavy. Maybe it cause I need more oxygen. I can’t see clearly now, there are tears piling up in the eyelids. I wipe it off before anyone else sees. Act cool like nothing’s happen.
My train is coming. The door’s open right in front of me. I put my phone to my hand bag, avoid the rough passangers. When I enter the train, there’s no more empty seats. So I stand, holding a yellow holder with my left hand and grab my phone with the other hand.

I reply my father’s text, saying thank you. He reply me that he wants to see my daughter as well. He said my daughter must be so happy to receive the gift. 

Oh God… I can’t hold my tears! I cry. And it’s a silly stupid cry until some people notice me crying. The guy in front of me spontaneusly stand up and offer me his seat. And so I sit but I still can’t stop crying. I wipe my tears with my hand. Then a woman next to me handed me tissu. She don’t say a word. She just handed it. 

I don’t cry for long… but as I remembered I stop crying after the third or forth station, half of my trip. I’m so silly. But I’m glad no one bother me asking what happen. And I’m so thankful that at least for a second I knew that my parents care about my child. 

My daughter receive it. She’s so happy. She hug me and say thank you. In my heart I pray, I thank God. It’s like I never have enough thank God. 



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